


To Never Go Back

by Wishful86



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Future-y, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Support, Triggers, spoilery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-27 16:57:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6292501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishful86/pseuds/Wishful86
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Robert didn’t care that everyone was watching and instead he moved almost instinctively to stand what he judged would be comfortable distance in front of Aaron. He didn’t reach out but spoke softly, “Aaron? Aaron, it’s Robert, ok? Look at me. Come on.”'</p><p>Aaron reacts badly to a conversation in the Woolpack. People then react to that. Please heed the tags.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a busy night at the Woolpack. It seemed most people in the village wanted to make the most of Diane’s last few days behind the bar. No one was quite sure what chaos lay ahead when Charity officially took over; the only saving grace was Chas would still be there and she could more than hold her own. 

There were several groups of villagers at the tables. Moira and Cain were having a particularly heated conversation about Charity that Jimmy, who was playing darts with Rakesh and Jai, was trying to ear-wig. 

At one end of the bar, Ashley, Laurel, Nicola, Kerry, Dan were chatting over to Diane and Marlon. Conversation breezing easily from one topic to the next as they enjoyed each other’s company. 

The newest couple of the village, Andy and Chrissie, could be found at the other end of the bar. Although, they weren’t quite properly public yet so to most in the pub, they just appeared as two friends having a drink. 

One pairing who knew Andy and Chrissie were more but could not care less were Robert and Aaron. They were tucked away in the booth nearest to the backrooms going completely unnoticed by most. Robert had been bothered by Andy and Chrissie at first; the way Chrissie talked about him like he was a saint. Robert had wanted to tell her just what Andy was capable of but then he decided there was no point. Besides, if he was honest with himself, he had not got a leg to stand on giving his misdeeds the previous year. Plus, none of it mattered now. What mattered most to Robert was the man sitting across from him. Aaron needed to get the justice he deserved. 

Seeking justice had been a hellish road but since things had calmed with Liv, Aaron had himself seemed more calm. Liv’s reappearance and doubts had set Aaron back and they’d all been worried but now he seemed ready to fight again. The fact that he had accepted Robert’s offer of a drink was positive. Lately, he’d been either hiding out in the backrooms or working overtime at the scrapyard.

“I’ll get the next round,” Aaron said as he downed the last of his own pint and nodded towards Robert as he was about to do the same. 

“Cheers,” Robert said smiling back as he watched the younger man stand to head to the bar. Truth be told, Robert had been hurt when Aaron had announced that they could only ever be ‘just mates’ a few weeks ago but then he figured that being mates with Aaron was more than he ever deserved after everything. They had regained some ground during the reappearance of Sandra and Liv so Robert was tentatively hopeful that perhaps they were now back in the waiting period they had discussed at the lake. Either way, now was definitely not their time. The trial was only days away. 

 

Aaron took a place next to Dan and waited to be served. He wasn’t in any particular rush so instead of calling anyone over, he figured he would listen and wait until the conversation Marlon and Diane were having with the others had come to a natural end. This would turn out to be a mistake. 

“So, yeah he wanted a mobile phone but we told him ten was a bit young so…” Ashley chuckled.

“I don’t remember what I got when I was ten?” Marlon said. 

“I remember wearing the biggest party dress for my tenth birthday” Laurel chuckled, “It was bright pink with yellow flowers.”

“I wish we had money for dresses when I was ten,” Kerry snorted.

“Why what were you wearing?” Dan asked.

“Hand me downs and knock off stuff from the market,” Kerry moaned but then her eyes lit up, “I did have a pair of red shoes when I was ten though…or maybe I was nine…Proper shiny. Loved them.”

“I wish I was ten again,” Nicola sighed, “Life was much simpler then.”

“Yeah, not a care in the world,” Dan stated and the others nodded in agreement. 

“Shame we have to grow up,” Diane agreed and then started as she noticed Aaron at the bar. She walked over, “Sorry, Aaron, what can I get you?”

Aaron didn’t hear her. Aaron wasn’t in the Woolpack anymore. 

“Aaron?” Diane questioned again, brow furrowing as she began to realise he was looking rather spaced out. Dan had also noticed. 

He put a hand on Aaron’s shoulder. The reaction was instant. 

“Don’t touch me!” Aaron flinched away from the touch so violently that he collided with Rakesh who was about to throw a dart, “Don’t touch me!” He shouted a little louder and more desperately as they made contact. 

Rakesh spun round, “What the-?” 

Aaron wasn’t aware though. He needed to get out. Something in his head told him where the door was so he tried to make it but once again there was someone there. Another touch, a shout and then a clatter. It was all too much; he folded his arms tightly around himself and attempted to shut out the world. 

 

It was David who had ‘touched’ Aaron as he tried to exit. He had walked through the door with Leyla following, only to be bumped straight into. “Hey watch it,” he’d cried out in surprise. In his dismayed state Aaron had also lashed out causing Leyla to drop her handbag on the floor, the contents spilling out causing the clatter. 

“What is going on?” Cain asked forcefully as he and Moira rushed across. Robert was also there; shifting immediately after hearing Aaron’s desperate voice across the pub. 

“Aaron’s a clumsy idiot,” Leyla piped up from her position on the floor as she tried to collect her things. Jai had immediately jumped into help and he uttered an arrogant ‘yeah, he needs to watch where he is going.’

David ignored Jai but stage whispered a “Leyla, shut up!” causing her to stand again indignantly but she kept her tongue when the man gestured over to Aaron and she saw what a state he was in; he appeared to be a lost, very scared, little boy. 

The whole pub could see something was very wrong. It had gone silent. 

Cain had tried to put a hand on Aaron’s shoulder but again he had flinched, this time his voice breaking with a small, “Please stop.”

 

Robert’s heart broke. Aaron looked so completely vulnerable. It was like the night he first learnt of Aaron’s darkest secret only this was worse. He did not know the reason for this; Aaron had been fine not five minutes ago but here he was having some kind of panic attack in public. Robert didn’t care that everyone was watching and instead he moved almost instinctively to stand what he judged would be comfortable distance in front of Aaron. He didn’t reach out but spoke softly, “Aaron? Aaron, it’s Robert, ok? Look at me. Come on.”

Beside Robert, Cain was still asking, ‘What happened?’ 

“He was spaced out at the bar,” Diane answered, sadly. 

“I only put my hand on his shoulder-“ Dan started to explain but Robert cut him off;

“Leave that now,” he stated firmly briefly taking his attention from Aaron but never taking his eyes off him. Aaron’s own eyes were cast down to the floor. Thankfully his breathing seemed steady but his arms were still wrapped protectively around his shaking body, “Aaron, come on, look at me,” he tried again and to his immense relief those pale blue eyes flicked towards him. They were brimmed with tears and fear. Robert’s heart broke again. “No one is going to hurt you, ok? You’re safe.”

Aaron’s gaze was held on some unfixed point, “My dad did this.”

“I know,” Robert sighed. That much he did know. He was much more in the know then when he first heard those words but then looking at Aaron now, he wasn’t sure he knew any of it. He decided to try and repeat some words of his own from that day, “But remember what I said? You’re not on your own now-“

“Not anymore,” Aaron finished with him. Robert was pleased to note that not only did Aaron remember his words of comfort but that he made proper eye contact. It was short lived. 

Aaron’s head dropped and he mumbled something that Robert didn’t catch, “I’m sorry, I-“

“I don’t want to be ten,” Aaron spat out, eyes making contact again. This time like piercing lasers. 

Robert’s eyes widened as he felt momentarily taken off guard by Aaron’s words. His stomach turned as he realised the significance of ‘ten’ almost immediately but before he could react, he heard Cain try to step in again, “Aaron, why don’t-“

But Robert could see the moment Aaron snapped, “They were talking about being ten,” he gestured wildly to the group at the bar, voice raised with a dangerous edge, “Life is simple when you’re ten, apparently. Not a care in the world. Yeah, well, not for me, eh? In a few days, I have to tell people what my…what he…Life wasn’t simple when I was ten!” Robert stayed silent as he watched the anger burn quickly out of Aaron and then stepped slightly closer as the man sobbed out a devastating, “I don’t want to be ten again.” 

As the tears ran freely and Aaron leant towards him, Robert finally managed to embrace him in a hug, “Come on. Its ok. You’re safe.” He whispered reassurances into the younger man’s hair and slid his hand up and down his back. There was also a part of Robert’s brain that was kicking himself for ever thinking that Aaron was going to remain calm before the trial. They should have been more aware, better prepared, for an outburst. The man in his arms had been through more than they could ever imagine. Perhaps more than they knew how to properly help with. 

 

Cain was thinking the same as Robert. He thought back to the conversation at the scrapyard where he told Aaron that Gordon had hurt him long enough but now he was hit with the terrible realisation that no matter the outcome of the trail, that hurt would never disappear completely. Aaron couldn’t ‘just stop’ the hurt. This was something he would have to learn to deal with. They would all have to learn to deal with. They would get through it together. Cain had resolved never to let Aaron deal with any problem alone again. He puffed out a relieved breath that the current situation was getting under control and started to be practical, “Right, let’s get him in the back.” He received a nod of agreement from Robert over his nephew’s head.

“I’ll go and put the kettle on,” Moira stated, wiping her wet eyes on the back her hand. 

“Ok,” Cain acknowledged gratefully, knowing that his wife was probably wanting to do anything that might help. He briefly watched her leave before stepping to the side to let Robert guide a pliant Aaron to the backrooms. The next thing to do was obvious so he raised his voice clearly, “Diane, will you phone our Chas, I think she at Lisa’s.”

“Of course,” Diane replied immediately pulling out her phone. 

Cain thanked her, watching as Robert got Aaron halfway around the bar when the younger man stopped. Before he could question why, Aaron had turned to address those he had been near, “I’m sorry..."

“No worries, mate,” David interrupted with a small smile. 

“Yeah, no problem,” Leyla agreed readily. Her handbag had been forgotten. 

Cain internally smiled as Aaron nodded. Even after what had occurred, the fact that his nephew still cared about small things was amazing to him. He also had to admit as he saw Robert lead Aaron onwards that Sudgen had more to him than he thought. Of course, he knew he had been there for Aaron, even thanked him for it, but witnessing what he just had seen; perhaps it was love. 

 

They all watched as Cain followed Robert and Aaron through the back but no one said a word. Nobody left behind in the pub knew quite what to do. Each lost in their own thoughts.  
…


	2. Chapter 2

“Chas isn’t picking up,” Diane sighed heavily. 

“Perhaps she is already on her way back,” Marlon suggested.

Diane nodded, “I hope so.”

“Aaron isn’t on his own,” Ashley added positively, “He’s got support.”

“Yeah, from Robert,” Andy muttered wrinkling his nose.

“Not now,” Chrissie said nudging him, “In fact, I think we should go.” Chrissie grabbed her coat and didn’t even check whether Andy followed her out of the pub.

“10 years old?” Laurel questioned sadly. She placed her hand over Ashley’s, “That’s our Arthur. I just can’t…”

“It doesn’t bare thinking about,” Ashley agreed squeezing his wife’s hand.

“How could anyone hurt a child?” Nicola mused aloud on behalf of them all.

When the door of the pub opened, everyone looked towards it; it wasn’t hard for Chas to sense something was wrong.

“What’s going on in here then?” Chas asked with eyebrows raised in suspicion.

“Oh Chas, it’s your Aaron-“

But Diane didn’t get chance to finish before Chas interrupted, “Where is he?”

“He’s in the back,” Marlon told her and they all moved so she could head in that direction.

 

Moira didn’t know how long she had been staring at the kettle when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you ok?” Cain asked gently.

Moira scoffed, “You’re asking me?”

“Moira…” Cain pushed.

“Cain, please not now, ok? I keep thinking about Adam when he was young, you know? I just can’t…” Moira swiped a hand across her eyes to try and stem the tears that threatened. 

“Ok, ok,” Cain said giving her shoulder a squeeze as if to say he understood. Moira knew he understood because Cain felt a fatherly love towards Aaron and he knew she felt a kind of motherly love towards him too; it was hard to remember the time when she wished Adam had picked a different best friend. Aaron had actually ended up being a big support to the Barton's over the years.

“Let’s get this brew made, eh?” Moira said shaking herself back to the present and restarting her task.

“Ok,” Cain nodded before he reached for the cups. 

 

When they entered the backroom, Robert had felt Cain touch his shoulder so he turned. Cain gestured with his chin to Aaron and then looked towards Moira in the kitchen. Robert nodded, knowing that Cain was going to leave him and Aaron alone for a moment. There was no problem. Robert let Aaron take the lead; watching the younger man sit on the sofa slowly and rest his head against its arm.

Robert perched on the coffee table opposite and clasped his hands together on his knees. He took a breath, “How are you feeling?”

Aaron blinked and gave him the briefest of smiles, “Not sure.”

“You know you can tell me anything?” Robert felt the need to remind him.

Tears glinted around the corner of Aaron’s eyes and he bobbed his head, “I’m scared.”

The honesty, while what Robert wanted, still hit hard. All Robert wanted was for Aaron to feel safe and he wouldn’t stop trying to make it so. Before he had chance to tell Aaron this vow, the door flung open and Chas strode across the room. 

Robert watched as Aaron sat upright straight away and Chas embraced him in the tightest of hugs. Despite the situation, in that moment, Robert missed his mum.

 

“I’m sorry,” Chas heard her son whisper into her shoulder but she shook her head and leaned back from the hug,

“No, no, you don’t apologise, ok?” She told him with a small smile. She took her arms from around his shoulders and placed his hands in her hands as she knelt in front of him, “What happened, love?”

Chas watched as Aaron dropped his head and sighed, “I don’t know…I was at the bar and they were talking about being ten. I just…I couldn’t…I didn’t want to go back but I couldn’t help it.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Chas stroked his face with her hands. 

 

Robert had stood up but he couldn’t exactly remember why or when that had occurred. He was aware that Moira had pushed a cup into his hands while he watched over Chas and Aaron. He didn’t normally drink tea but there was a strange feeling of familiar comfort that washed over him from just holding a cup of hot liquid. It was like this small act grounded him. 

“I didn’t know whether you took sugar but I added it anyway,” Moira told him as she gently touched his arm, “You alright?”

Robert was slightly surprised to be asked but he nodded. “Yeah,” he whispered with a half-smile and as he caught her kind eyes, he knew she understood that he was holding it together for now; later may be a different story. 

 

Cain passed one cup over to his sister and one over to his nephew who he then took a seat next to on the sofa.

“Thanks,” Aaron said lifting his cup slightly before taking a sip. Cain shared a look with Chas, who had put her cup down on the table and taken up Robert’s previous place of sitting on it. He knew what Chas was asking him with the way her eyes gleamed. It was something they had discussed about a week previous but they had both kept delaying. He cleared his throat but before he had chance to speak, Aaron voiced his worry,

“What if this happens at the trial? I mean, I’m going to have to go back, aren’t I?” He glanced at each of them in turn. 

Deciding that this was as good a time as any Cain sighed, “Aaron, listen, we will be there to support you through this, ok? Every step of the way…”

“I know,” Aaron bobbed his head in acknowledgement. 

“But…perhaps it might be worth you speaking to someone, you know? DS Wise gave us those numbers.”

Cain was unsure what to do when Aaron didn’t respond. He shrugged at the others and looked to them for back up. 

“It could really help,” Robert encouraged.

“Listen, I know you’ve been to therapy before and-“ Chas started but Aaron interrupted.

“I stopped going because they were getting close to the truth,” Aaron whispered. 

“The truth?” Cain couldn’t stop himself from asking and he could see from Chas’ face that she was as unsure as he was. 

“Yeah...this,” Aaron told them, “Mum, your therapist made you talk about your childhood…mine…”

“Tried to do the same,” Chas finished for him. 

“I never wanted to,” Aaron began to wipe fresh tears away from his eyes so Cain took his cup from him and sat it down on the table, “I wanted to forget it ever happened.”

“Oh love,” Chas sighed sadly taking hold of her son’s hand once again. 

Cain rubbed a hand down his face, suddenly feeling exhausted. He knew where Aaron was coming from; Cain would hate to have to discuss his childhood and it was nowhere near as bad as his nephews. However, Aaron had been brave and he had faced it; he had exposed Gordon to them and the truth was out. Cain lent forwards and towards Aaron slightly, 

“I think talking about it may help you to move forward,” he said honestly and he could tell by the way Aaron's head tilted that he was being listened to, “Bottling things up won’t help you, kid. You don’t want to go back to that place but at least if you talk to someone you’ll go back there on your own terms. And they will be able to stop you going back like you did tonight.” Cain really hoped that made sense; he knew he’d make a useless therapist. Not wanting to see that he had completely messed things up, he avoided eye contact with Chas and briefly flicked his eyes towards his wife. When Moira gave him a warm smile, he was filled with relief. He knew he must have done ok. Even Robert was looking at him with approval which he found rather unnerving. He almost missed Aaron speaking next to him, 

“Ok, ok, I’ll try. We can ring someone in the morning.”

…


	3. Chapter 3

Chrissie hadn’t got very far down the road. She wasn’t sure she was even heading in the right direction to her car; she just knew that she had to get away. She ignored the shouts of “Chrissie, wait!” from Andy behind her until he caught up with her, touched her shoulder and tried to round her off. Then she stopped,

“Not now, Andy, ok?”

She could see Andy was frowning at her in a questioning manner and she shook her head. “That was a lot to take in, ok?” she offered him as a reason for her behaviour, hoping that would end it but frustratingly knowing that it wouldn’t. 

“Was it Robert?” Andy sighed, “Seeing him with Aaron?”

Chrissie narrowed her eyes and suddenly felt a burst of anger, “Not everything is about Robert, Andy! Aaron clearly needed support in there- so what if it came from Robert!”

Andy dropped his head, “I’m sorry, I…”

“I have a kid, Andy,” Chrissie felt her anger relenting and tears pricking at her eyes, “You have kids too. Can you imagine your child going through that amount of pain?”

“Chrissie, I-“ 

“No, Andy, you don’t get it, ok?”

“Yes, I do. Like you said, I’ve got Jack and Sarah.”

“I bet Jack and Sarah will never cause that pain to someone else though, will they?” Chrissie spat out before covering her mouth with her hand and letting out a sob.

She felt Andy wrap his hands around her and let herself be enveloped by his warmth before pulling back at bit and meeting his concerned eyes. 

“I’m not sure I…”Andy began but Chrissie cut him off,

“Sometimes…sometimes, it’s easy to forget, you know? What Lachlan did. That sounds awful but he’s my son and…but…In there then, listening to Aaron…I know it’s different but I couldn’t help thinking about Alicia. Oh God, Andy.” She leant forward again and rested her head against the solidness of Andy’s shoulder. 

 

Aaron suddenly started fidgeting in his pockets, “I’ve left my phone in the bar.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Chas told him but Moira saw that he seemed a bit agitated about the fact and also this would give her chance to give them a minute. 

“I’ll go and get it,” She offered, putting her cup down on the side, “I need to get our stuff too anyway.” She nodded at Cain who gave her a small smile. 

“I’ll help,” She heard Robert state from beside her. The task didn’t need the two of them but she suspected his reasons for briefly leaving were the same as hers. She took the young man’s cup to place on the side next to hers,

“Ok, we’ll be back in a bit,” Moira told them, letting Robert lead them out to the front. 

 

There was a moment of silence. Chas watched her son carefully, “We will get through this.”

Her son’s blue eyes fixed on her and she had to swallow down a lump in her throat. Her son was a like a little boy again and the overwhelming sense of guilt that she left him the last time threatened to make her fall apart. She had to be strong. She couldn’t change the past but she could try her damn best to make sure her son’s future held as much love as possible. 

“I love you,” Aaron said as if he had heard her thoughts and then he turned to Cain and swallowed, “And I love you too.”

Chas was warmed so much by her son’s words but she couldn’t also help be amused by the way they made Cain squirm slightly,

“Alright, don’t get too mushy. No one has died,” Cain scoffed. He wasn’t fooling anyone though, both Chas and Aaron knew he was touched. Chas was happy to see he also raised a smile from her son. 

She leant forward and kissed his forehead, “And we love you too. So so much. Our brave boy.”

 

Robert let Moira pass him in the hall so that she was first through to the bar. As expected she was hit by questions,

“Oh Moira, how is Aaron?” Diane asked immediately.

“Is he ok? Well, as ok as to be expected?” Leyla questioned putting down her drink. 

Moira scratched her head as she stopped in front of a sea of concerned faces. Robert managed to sneak around the back of her unnoticed. He could hear her saying, “He’s ok. Calmer at least,” and then there were more questions and more answers but he tuned out as he grabbed his and Aaron’s belongings out of the booth and then decided to collect Moira and Cain’s things too. 

The hand that touched his arm as he walked back was unexpected, “Are you alright?” Robert looked up to see a concerned Ashley with an equally concerned Laurel next to him. 

Robert felt utterly caught off guard, “Er, yeah, I’m fine.” He didn’t mean to be rude but he shrugged them off and started back behind the bar. That is when he heard Marlon,

“We were talking about Arthur’s tenth birthday. We should have thought.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Moira told him with a shrug. Robert agreed; no-one would have expected that reaction.

“If only we’d been talking about Angel’s eighth,” Nicola piped up.

Robert froze on the spot, “How would that have helped?” He levelled her with a stare.

“Well, it’s…I don’t-“ Nicola stuttered under his gaze.

“The first time he was eight,” Robert spat out without thinking. Whatever cool he had managed to maintain so far was beginning to crumble. 

“Sorry- I didn’t…” Nicola mumbled as her cheeks flared red. Jimmy put a protective arm around her shoulder. 

Robert’s own shoulders dropped as he suddenly felt guilty, “No, I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes briefly and tried to regain a sense of calm. 

“Are you alright?” Diane asked softly from his side. 

That was it; his eyes flew open. “Am I alright?” he scoffed, “Me? Why do people keep asking me? I’m fine.” He was aware he was contradicting himself by starting to sound borderline hysterical but found he didn’t care. He ignored both Diane and Moira as they both said something to try and sooth him and continued, “All I had to do was listen. And sure they are words that I will never ever forget. Words that play on my mind every day but that is all they are to me, isn’t it? Words! I didn’t have to live it like Aaron did. I didn’t have to go through all that pain. And I can’t take it away either, can I? There is no magic wand. I can’t make it better.” He puffed out a breath and ran a shaky hand through his hair. 

Diane grabbed the hand, “Right, that’s it. You and I need a chat.” 

Robert sighed and shook his head, “I can’t, I have to…” He gestured to the back room with the hand holding the coats. Moira promptly took them off him,

“Aaron has got Chas. It looks like you could do with a mum too,” Moira said gently nodding her head at Diane.

Robert found he had no fight left. He let Diane lead him away from the bar. 

“Marlon, we’re borrowing your kitchen,” Diane shouted.  
…


	4. Chapter 4

Diane stood opposite Robert as he lent against the kitchen counter with his shoulders slumped. “Right, talk to me,” she stated firmly.

“About what?”

“Don’t give me that,” Diane sighed heavily causing Robert to look up at her with weary eyes, “That wasn’t like you in there.”

Robert squinted, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Diane replied resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She tried again with a gentler tone, “Look, Robert, what’s going on with Aaron...”

Roberts shoulders tensed and he bobbed his head, “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Perhaps not but I don’t think that’s working is it?” Diane could see her step-son’s discomfort but was determined not to let him get away. She needed him to open up. Unfortunately, Robert went on the defensive again and threw his hands up, 

“I just got a bit wound up. It’s a lot to take in, ok?” The flash went from his eyes as quickly as it came and he dropped his arms, “Sorry.”

Diane stepped closer and put a hand on his arm, “Robert, you forget that I have known Aaron for years. I’ve seen most of the ups and downs.” She could tell she had his full attention and sighed, “There have been quite a few downs.”

Robert frowned, “What’s your point?”

“My point is that I know he isn’t easy,” Diane could see Robert about to cut in but stopped him, “And I’m not being horrible, ok? God knows, I love Aaron. But all that he’s been through-“

“Are you saying I should give up?”

“What? No. I would never say that,” Diane admonished, briefly frustrated by Robert’s attitude. Thankfully Robert caught on quick,

“Yeah, sorry, I’m-“

Diane tapped with the hand on his shoulder to make sure he was paying full attention before she explained, “What I am saying is- its ok for you to admit you find it hard sometimes. You can talk to me. I’ve been there for Chas over the years- you have to remember to look after yourself in times like this. You’re no good to Aaron if you are falling apart too.” 

Robert nodded at her, finally giving in, “I feel so useless, you know.”

“Oh, pet, I know,” Diane sympathised, now rubbing his shoulder, “But you’re not. You’ve been there for him. Listened to him. Believed in him. That is worth so much.”

There was a pause as she watched her words sink in. Robert’s eyes were beginning to shine with the start of tears as he admitted, “Diane, I love him.”

“I know that too,” Diane smiled warmly before she pulled him into a much needed hug, “Come here.”

“Thanks Diane,” Robert told her as they broke the embrace a few seconds later.

Diane nodded, “Anytime. I mean it.”

…

“Are Robert and Aaron actually…you know?”

“Kerry,” Dan nudged his girlfriend in the side.

“What? I was just wondering,” She groaned rubbing at her side.

Marlon pinched the bridge of his nose, “They aren’t together. Well as far as I know. Robert was…Robert was the first person he told.”

“Wow,” David breathed out, “That must have been…”

“It’s a lot to take in,” Moira said, echoing Robert’s words without knowing it. “I best be getting back anyway.”

“Tell Aaron we’re thinking of him,” Laurel told her. There was a similar chorus from the others.

Moira smiled, “I’ll let him know.”

“The whole village is behind him,” Dan stated, “We have his back.”

…

Noah hadn’t given much thought to who he would be living with at the pub; he was quite used to moving around and getting used to different people. At least at the pub, he knew it was family. Living at Home Farm had been weird. However, there was one thing different about this time. This time his mum had sat him down and told him that there was some important stuff going on with Chas and Aaron and that there may be times when he might have to give them some space. When he asked what the important stuff was, he hadn’t got much of an answer beyond the fact that Aaron’s dad had hurt him as a child but then when Aaron’s sister showed up, he found out about the trial. He still wasn’t quite sure about the details but he knew it was serious. Aaron always seemed ok though. Noah had been invited to do things with him and Liv during her brief stay and aside from going quiet every now and again, Noah had decided he was pretty cool. He gave him all his car magazines to read too and lent him some dinner money when his mum forgot. Chas was great as well. Stepping up, like Moira did, when his mum pulled one of her random disappearing acts. All in all, Noah was enjoying living at the pub. 

He was enjoying watching a film in his room but decided he could do with a drink. He padded down the stairs but when he reached the door to the living room, he could hear Chas and Aaron’s voices. He peered round the door discreetly so he could see; Chas was hugging her son and Cain had a protective hand on his shoulder. Noah watched for a moment and decided that this was probably one of those ‘space’ times that his mum talked about. He was about to retreat but then he heard Cain,

“You can come in, kid,” his uncle told him. 

Noah started slightly at being noticed but he found his feet moving into the room anyway. Chas and Aaron were now looking at him too; they looked like they had been crying. He felt a bit embarrassed, “Erm, I wanted a drink.”

“Help yourself, love,” Chas told him warmly as she moved back from Aaron and sat on the table. 

Noah nodded and quickly began walking to the kitchen. When he was halfway there, Moira entered,

“Oh hey, Noah,” She exclaimed, “How are you doing?”

“Good, thanks,” Noah replied with a shy smile and then he felt the need to explain his presence, “I was just getting a drink.”

“Oh right,” Moira returned a smile and she nodded at him. Noah took that as his cue to continue so he rounded the corner of the kitchen and proceeded to help himself to a glass and juice. As he did this he couldn’t help but hear snippets of the conversation that started in his wake. Apparently everyone in the pub hoped Aaron was ok, Aaron wanted to know where Robert was but seemed ok when told he was with Diane and Chas was wondering what to do now. Noah moved and leant against the counter so that he could see again. He knew he should be heading back up to his room but a thought was forming in his mind. Aaron was sat staring into space as Chas, Cain and Moira were talking around and over him. Noah knew that feeling; adults making decisions without asking. Although, it was slightly odd here because Aaron was an adult too. Noah briefly wondered once more just what Aaron’s dad had done to cause this much worry and upset.

He shook himself and reconsidered his thought. It was only a simple idea but he thought back to the times Cain had cheered him by offering when he was going through grief with his mum. It would only be a brief distraction but Noah figured anything that may help Aaron even a little bit was worth trying. 

“Hey, Noah, are you alright?” Moira asked from across the room.

“Yeah, kid, you look deep in thought?” Chas was frowning at him.

Noah blinked, realising he must have been doing his own fair share of staring into space, “Yeah, I, erm…I was thinking.“

“Is there something up?” Cain questioned. He was stood up now and putting his coat on. 

Deciding that he was going to ask regardless of the outcome, Noah stood up straight and took a breath, “Aaron, do you want to play on the Playstation with me?”

There was a pause. It was as if everyone in the room froze. Noah couldn’t work out what that meant and quickly tried to backtrack, “I mean…you don’t…it’s stupid and-“

“Yeah, I’ll have a game,” Aaron cut in taking Noah by surprise. Noah looked at him and was pleased to see a smile. He wasn’t entirely sure what the reactions of the adults were and found he didn’t care. He focussed on Aaron,

“Cool,” he said with enthusiasm, “Shall I set it up down here?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Aaron replied. Noah felt slightly overwhelmed by the look in Aaron’s eyes. It was clear he was grateful but it was as though Noah had offered much more than a computer game. 

“I’ll go and get it then,” Noah told him and as he started to make his way back to his room he caught Chas, Cain and Moira’s looks of approval and he suddenly felt a burst of pride. It seemed his simple idea was a really good one. 

…


End file.
